King Arthur - in Rhyme!
by The Blue Robed One
Summary: Secrets of King Arthur hidden in the deep past that should never have been revealed! Who really was Morgan le Fay's father? All this and more in rhyming couplets!
1. Default Chapter

Once in merry England fair,  
(or so begins my air)  
There lived one Uther Pendragon  
Of a King, he was a paragon.  
He only had a single vice:  
He'd poison other people's rice.  
That's how he became the tops -   
They all thought he'd spoiled the hops.  
Let's not dwell on this horrid affair.  
What he really wanted was an heir.  
But with women he had not tarried.  
He only wanted one, and she was married.  
Her name was Igraine, and she was fair  
Although her head was full of air.  
Her husband was an important fellow.  
An Earl, no less, and not very mellow.  
Cornwall is under his rule.  
He's as stubborn as a mule.  
Uther lays siege to his castle  
It really is an almighty tussle.  
To Tintagel Igraine repairs  
And then begins to put on airs.  
Luckily Uther had his pet mage:  
the wizard Merlin, a great sage.  
Merlin was the epitome of power.  
Even his face was extremely dour.  
Merlin said, "I'll get you through,  
but what comes of this to me is due."  
One night when Cornwall was out fighting  
he found his way through some poor lighting.  
Disguised to look just like the Earl  
He made his way towards his girl.  
So Uther arrives to sate his lust.  
(The details you'll fill in, we trust).  
In the fighting the Earl was killed.  
Through his heart a sword was drilled.  
And so the dreadful deed was done.  
What of Igraine? She had a son.  
And seeing that the Earl was dead,  
Uther and Igraine decided to wed.  
Igraine already had a daughter  
(It wasn't the Earl's, it was his porter's).  
And soon after the babe was born,  
Merlin came, amidst a storm,  
To take away the little lad  
From the embrace of his horrified dad.  
Uther said: "Please, not my son!  
"I'll give you anything or anyone!"  
Merlin's eyebrows contracted with displeasure.  
"Okay, Uther, you've had your leisure.  
"Remember, Uther, you've made a vow,  
"Give me Arthur, do it now!"  
And so Uther had to desist,  
Though every fibre said, "Resist!"  
Igraine threw herself at the feet of the old man  
"We'll give you anything! Gold, jewels, land!"  
Merlin looked upon her as he prised her fingers away.  
I think you know what he is going to say:  
"I only want Arthur your son.  
"Get out of my way, everyone!"  
The girl Morgan, with eyes so round,  
Looked at the scene, but made no sound.  
She stored up Merlin's face for future reference.  
As he passed by, he made a gesture of deference.  
"Look after this one, Uther," he said.  
"And try to think that Arthur is dead!"  
The old man goes off into the night,  
Convinced that he is in the right.  
For Merlin has dreams of things to be.  
It is the future that he can see.  
He knows that Arthur will be great,  
And who will be his chosen mate.  
He makes for a home of no great fame,  
Owned by Sir Ector, by name.  
He asks that for the babe he care,  
And raise him up with Kay, his heir.  
The good man accepts readily,  
And welcomes Arthur to his family. 


	2. In the Interim

A few years later Uther is dead.  
An archer shot him through the head.  
As for Igraine, the legends don't say much.  
They say she ran off with such-and-such.  
Of her fate the legends do not tell.  
It's safe to assume she died as well.  
Without Uther, the people wail,  
"We're a ship without a sail!"  
Since Uther did not leave a son,  
The throne is claimed by everyone.  
The wars rage fast and wide and long.  
They're invariably won by the strong.  
The people find a sword in a stone.  
They try to pull it out, but groan:  
"Whoever pulleth out this sword  
"Shall be King and Overlord.  
"Whoever pulls it from the stone  
"Shall sit upon the English throne".  
"That definitely is not me," they cry,  
But many feel inclined to try.  
Many do try, but they all fail.  
Some of them aren't even male! 


	3. A Happy Ending?

And so for Arthur the years do pass  
Amid fair fields of lovely grass.  
And now young Kay will be a Sir,  
With a ceremony to win his spurs.  
Arthur goes along as the hopeful's squire,  
To be a knight, he secretly aspires.  
As they leave the inn,  
Arthur commits a squire's sin.  
He forgot his master's sword!  
Sir Ector cries, "Oh my Gawd!  
"Run back to the inn, boy, quick,  
"Or I'll beat you around with a big hard stick!"  
Arthur runs back in a hurry.  
His feet move in a little flurry.  
But when he arrives, the place is shut.  
The only one there is the innkeep's mutt.  
Arthur sits down on a stool.  
He feels just like a real fine fool.  
But then he remembers the sword in the stone.  
He looks around to see that he's alone.  
"That sword I think I'll borrow.  
"I'll return it on the morrow."  
Arthur then walks to the thing.  
All the church bells start to ring.  
In the trees the birds do sing.  
They hail the coming of the king!  
The sword is hard and cold to touch.  
He pretends he's not up to much.  
He gives the sword one great tug.  
He screws up his face like a pug.  
The sword slides cleanly from its hole  
Frightening an innocent mole.  
Arthur hurries back to Kay,  
Who looks as though he's made his day.  
It's the sword from the stone, he thinks,  
And is so startled, ten times he blinks.  
"Look, Father, I have the sword!  
"Doesn't that make me Overlord?"  
"Did you really do this deed?  
"The King's sprung from my own seed?"  
"Arthur did it," Kay replies.  
"Sorry, Father, I was telling lies."  
Arthur says: "How can I be the one?  
"I'm only Sir Ector's son!"  
He sticks the sword into the rock.  
For others there it does do lock.  
But Arthur again slides it out.  
"The King! The King!" They all do shout.  
Merlin then steps through the crowd.  
"It's Merlin!" The people say out loud.  
"Arthur is the rightful heir,  
"The one and only, he won't share.  
"All who disagree will face a bear.  
"As for their fate, I don't much care!"  
The people accept his words without much ado.  
They jump around and say "Yahoo!"  
A few knights say: "Look, old man,  
"Your words don't hold a grain of sand!  
"We shall continue to fight,  
"No matter who's in the right!"  
They stalk off into the day,  
The people let them have their way.  
They want to know if he's a ruler,  
And not a clever little fooler.  
They want him to repeat the pulling deed,  
And at Easter he again succeeds!  
They conclude that he's the man  
Arthur now is the ruler of the land!  
They salute the new king with a feast,  
From the mightiest to the very least. 


End file.
